May 2022
A Man Dressed in Horrible Old Lady Drag Threw Cake at the Mona Lisa
A man dressed in really bad old lady drag (think Mimi Imfurst) threw cake at the Mona Lisa to protest climate change in what has to be the most 2022 story imaginable. On Sunday, a man disguised as a wheelchair-bound old lady threw a slice of cake at the Mona Lisa and then shouted at people to think of planet Earth. Today, the Paris prosecutor’s office said a 36-year-old man has been detained following the incident and is being treated at a police psychiatric unit. The entire incident is currently under investigation. A video posted to Twitter shows the
A Vigilante Is Vandalizing Electric Scooters in Denver, and I Feel Personally Attacked
It’s no secret that The Platypus admires e-scooters and those who ride them. Someone (who I’m calling the Denver Destroyer) appears to be so frustrated by people dumping ride-share e-scooters all over Denver, Colorado’s sidewalks that they are taking matters into their own hands. Outraged at seeing these e-scooters littering the city, the Denver Destroyer has started applying passive-aggressive stickers and obstructing the QR codes on the scooters, making some of the devices unusable. “Per city code: All vehicles must be parked in a manner that does not impede pedestrian clear paths or access in the right of way
Grab Your Very Own #VoteFordOutJune2 Content
Would you like to express your displeasure with Doug Ford’s conservative government? Thanks to Twitter user @johnnypolitic, who created what he calls “some accurate and truthful Doug Ford campaign ads.” Feel free to share them for non-commercial purposes. On June 2, Ontario voters will choose who will lead the province.
First Peterborough, Now Brampton; Jagmeet Singh Harassed Again by “Freedom” Protesters.
The NDP leader was confronted by an angry mob earlier this month in Peterborough, and now another angry mob has confronted him in Brampton. The leader of the federal NDP, Jagmeet Singh, lent his support to Ontario NDP candidate Navjit Kaur on Thursday. Karur hopes to unseat the current PC MPP, Amarjot Sandhu. Sadly, a few obnoxious anti-mandate (i.e. anti-vax) protestors crashed the event. Although the men were trespassed by the event’s organizers, they remained until police arrived in hopes that it would make their video go viral. Before his vehicle sped away, a man can be heard calling
Police in Toronto Shoot and Kill a Rifle-Wielding Man
Several schools in Scarborough were forced into lockdown this afternoon after a man was accused of carrying a rifle in public. Toronto Police received reports of a man carrying a gun shortly before 1 p.m. on Thursday in the Maberley Crescent and Oxhorn Road area of Toronto. According to police, they located the man wearing a long coat and a white baseball cap, who they described as being in his late teens or early twenties. The armed man was approximately 100 metres from William G. Davis Junior Public School when he was shot by police. CityNews is reporting that
Holy Shit! The “Freedumb” Grifters Are Turning on Each Other and I’m Here for the Drama.
What happens when a bunch of flamboyant “freedumb” clowns jostle for power over their movement? This delicious hour-long video. Jason Estey is another one of these fitness-bros/freedumb clowns trying to make a name for himself in trailer parks throughout the country. But as the old saying goes, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Listen as Estey goes after fellow freedumb clowns Chris “Sky” Saccoccia, Patrick “Pat” James King, Vladislav “Vlad” Sobolev, and Kelly Anne Wolfe Farkas. Umm, maybe pop a pill with a glass of wine before watching this rambling mess.
CFL Player Arrested After Brawl With United Airlines Employee
Former Denver Broncos receiver Brendan Langley, now with the Calgary Stampeders of the CFL, brawled with a United Airlines employee at the Newark Liberty International Airport. According to reports, the two began fighting after Langley was asked to give up a wheelchair he was using to push his luggage. The cost to rent a bagage cart at EWR? USD $6. Although it still isn’t clear how the pair went from discussing a wheelchair to the employee needing one. In the video, you can see the employee tussling with Langley before slapping him. In response, Langey repeatedly punches the employee
[Updated] Mass Shooting at Texas Elementary School Kills 19 Children and Three Adults
Police were notified of the incident shortly after noon local time (1 p.m. Eastern) at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, about 130 kilometers west of San Antonio. This article was updated 5/25 at 11:55 a.m. to reflect the new death toll (originally 14 children, one teacher) 19 elementary school children and three adults – two of them teachers – have been pronounced dead. [Redacted], 18, is dead. He is believed to have been killed by responding officers. [The shooter] is believed to have been armed with a handgun, and possibly a rifle. At least two victims, including a senior and
Police Accidentally Set This Florida Man on Fire During an Arrest and He May Still Face Charges
A Florida man is learning the hard way that being set on fire by police isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. This week, Osceola County Sheriff Marcos Lopez announced that a 26-year-old Florida man who was set on fire after being tased by police earlier this year may still face charges. Earlier this year, Jean Barreto, 26, popped a wheelie and ran from a traffic stop on his dirt bike. After swerving around cars and onto the sidewalk, Barreto eventually stopped at a gas station where he was confronted by police. Lopez said that Barreto’s dirt bike was knocked over by
Severe Weather Cripples Parts of Ontario and Quebec, Killing at Least Five
A severe thunderstorm that swept parts of Ontario and Quebec on Saturday killed at least five people and left hundreds of thousands of people without power. Winds blew down trees and power lines from Sarnia to Ottawa, with gusts reaching as high as 132 km/h at the Kitchener airport. At this time, Environment Canada cannot confirm that a tornado touched down on Saturday. Emergency alerts were issued early Saturday afternoon, warning residents of the GTA to take cover if they noticed severe weather approaching. Drivers were also advised to slow down and prepare to stop if visibility decreased. Additional
Your Candy May Be Trying To Kill You! Mars Wrigley Recalls Some Brands of Life Savers, Skittles, and Starburst Gummies.
Life Savers, Skittles, and Starburst gummies are being recalled because some bags may contain metal strands. Mars Wrigley Canada, makers of Skittles, Life Savers, and Starburst gummies, issued the warning after consumers complained of a very thin metal strand embedded in the gummies or loose in the bag. According to the company, the products were sold across Canada, the United States, and Mexico. Mars Wrigley is working with retailers to remove the affected products from store shelves. Brand Product Size UPC Manufacturing Codes Life Savers Gummies, Sours 180 g 0 64900 42970 5 Starting with 139 to 201 Skittles
A Pox on All Our Houses! It’s Official: The Monkeypox World Tour Is Underway.
Canada is facing a new viral threat in the form of monkeypox, because apparently two years of COVID-19 wasn’t enough. sigh Multiple cases of monkeypox have been reported in the United States and Europe. Seventeen suspected cases are currently being investigated in Montreal, and the first US case involved a man who had recently returned from Montreal. Right now, the majority of cases are in men in Spain, Portugal, the UK, Italy, Sweden, and the United States. Monkeypox is rare outside of Africa and is most often transmitted by wild animals to humans. This virus resembles smallpox, which was
Trump Bootlicker Publishes Children’s Book About the 2016 Election and Russian Collusion Allegations
Former Trump aide and kiss-ass Kashyap (Kash) Pramod Patel is publishing a children’s book about the whole Trump/Russia/election thing on Monday. You read that right, a children’s book featuring Donald Trump as King Donald, Hillary Clinton as Hillary Queenton, Adam Schiff as a “shifty knight,” and James Comey as Keeper Komey. The Plot Against the King is published by Brave Books, the same publisher of such “popular titles” as Elephants Are Not Birds, Paws Off My Cannon, and The Fight for Freedom Island. You’re not wrong if you notice a theme. Brave Books promotes the conservative position on topics
[UPDATED] “We Treat Them Like Biggers!” Josh Bigger Jokes Around About White Privilege, Picking Cotton and Watermelons.
As if his nasty feet and greasy hair weren’t bad enough, it turns out Josh Bigger aka Mr. Freedom, might be a bit of a bigot. Shocking! I first discovered the bearded freak in a video recorded by our friend Caryma Sa’d at one of those “freedom” public gatherings advertised as open to the public. It was quickly decided to remove her from the “public” event so as not to embarrass the other guests. In this case, Bigger saved the event’s participants from looking stupid by graciously accepting that he himself would be the target of well-deserved ridicule. Bigger
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