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The Overpriced Vanity Party for Chris Saccoccia Is Just Around the Corner, and Here Is a Sampling of the “Accommodations”
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The Overpriced Vanity Party for Chris Saccoccia Is Just Around the Corner, and Here Is a Sampling of the “Accommodations”

The 39th birthday party of Chris “Sky” Saccoccia is being used as a way to maintain what relevance he may have left in the freedom movement. It’s also a great way to fleece his supporters out of a ton of cash.

Let’s take a look at the swanky accommodations Chris and Jenny Saccoccia will be providing to their paying guests.

Blue and pink port-a-potties are located close to where guests will be seated, making sure they won’t have to travel too far when the frozen burgers make them sick.

Piss, shit, and puke in style in these fancy port-a-potties.

In the main lounge, which is covered by a large luxurious tent, are hard plastic chairs and folding tables. This seating encourages guests to mingle rather than stay seated for too long.

Hard chairs will keep you on your toes

Those who are willing to spend between $1,000 and $3,000 can unwind in the luxury VIP lounge. Designed to resemble a classic picnic table, the VIP lounge consists of benches and tables made of the finest weathered wood. Each table is draped in a luxurious plastic tablecloth.

Only the finest plastic for those coughing up $1K to $3K for a “VIP booth.”

There will be bottled water available for purchase for $4 courtesy of the Home Depot, or guests can pay more for alcoholic drinks. To satisfy those who don’t want frozen hamburgers, an on-site brisket smoker will be available.

Saccoccia promised me that this will be “the greatest private party in Albertas [sic] recent history.” I can’t wait to see the pictures and videos of this flop-fest tomorrow morning.

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